By Judie Gade
ADDventurous Support
ADHD Coach and Counsellor

These formative years can be confusing at the best of times. Imagine how it would feel if no-one seemed to understand HOW you were thinking, your parents and teachers are saying “you CAN do better”, the kids at school pick on you for absolutely no reason other than that you are YOU!  On top of this, you can’t concentrate on your school work, it takes you 10 times to read the one page before it sinks in, you do stupid things that you regret immediately after & you are going through the puberty blues to boot!

Welcome to the mind of an ADD/ADHD teenager!

There is a “sense” of being different amongst most ADD teens and their peers seem to sense it. Sometimes they can be quite brilliant in a particular area, such as sport, art, music, computer studies & science. They have the ability to totally focus on something that interests them, hyperfocusing, not stopping until they are satisfied they can do no better! They can be totally oblivious to what is going on around them in the process. ADHD kids can be perfectionists in their areas of interest. Many of our greatest discoveries have been by people exhibiting many ADD traits such as Albert Einstein & Thomas Edison……… even Colonel Sanders!

Boys are more noticeable when they are ADHD & are, therefore, more easily diagnosed, as their behaviour is one of the first clues to put professionals on the right path to diagnosis.  Girls, on the other hand, largely go undiagnosed. This could be due to the fact that girls are seen to be more compliant. Boys tend to be a flurry of activity, whilst girls, when they reach puberty, become more disorganised and more easily distracted, which can result in a lack of activity. In a lot of cases females can be daydreamers, staring out the window in their own little world. Words that may be used to describe them by peers are spacey, ditzy, “blonde” or airheads. Parents may describe them as not listening.

Symptoms in boys and girls are not totally the same, although a few may overlap such as: 

• General untidiness  - schoolbags, locker, at home ,their bedrooms 
• They may be consistently late with assignments 
• Constantly losing things such as homework 
• Be easily distracted & have a brief attention span. 
• They could find themselves regularly running late for school. 
• Everything is done on a deadline, at the very last minute. 
• They have an unusual sense of fairness. 
• Always have lots of excuses for things not getting done. 
• Seem to not listen when spoken to at times

In general, girls are not so obvious. The aggression & activity is not as pronounced as the boy’s; their hyper-activity can present itself in a very different way such as excessive talkativeness, although some may have the aggressive symptoms. 

Time exists in a different way to these kids. They need constant reminders and coping mechanisms such as diaries & watches with alarms. Peer support is important too with a friend or classmate that can help keep them on track. These kids find it hard to cope on their own and need understanding friends & adults who can help them.  When totally enthralled in something, time just slips away; they have trouble dragging themselves away from what they are doing.

Boys, if hyperactive, may appear loud, be risk takers, aggressive to peers, disruptive in class, constantly on the move (legs may move constantly). ADHD girls can also exhibit these symptoms.  Girls who are hyperactive tend to be incessant talkers, having a mind like a butterfly that starts on one subject and then ending up talking about something completely different in the same sentence! They will constantly talk over the top of people, not letting the other person finish a sentence. This is of course, unintentional, as their brains don’t catch up to the action until after the event (ie. Talk first – action -, realise they have butted in –brain catches up- SORRY!)  

You will find that at times their work submitted shows immense promise, even flashes of brilliance, then they go back to being spacey, seemingly not paying attention, talking & acting inappropriately at times.
At times like these, they need help from a friend or teacher to let them realise, in a non-threatening  & subtle way, that what they did was inappropriate. I teach these kids friends a fun code word…… like chocolate! Pokemons! Digimons or as I did in an ADHD Teens Life Skills Class….. JOTTA! Basically anything that grabs their attention! 

These children often see solutions to problems in a totally unique manner & should be encouraged & praised regularly. You never know, you may have a potential Einstein in your class! The dreamy type of ADD girl will tend to sit up the back of the class, possibly the worst place to sit as she has the students in front to distract her! The boys will do the same as it is also considered “cool” to sit there. To help a child pay attention, take away the distractions such as windows & being seated behind other students. Do not make an example of the child in front of their peers; instead have a word after class to help them solve their problem in a kind a caring manner. Teachers can be very frustrated by these kids, understandably, but have to deal with their frustration to obtain the attention of the child.

There are still misconceptions with regards to ADD. Other children’s parents may frown upon their children mixing with these children. Other students may call them names, think they are stupid as they do not learn or absorb things as quickly. One of the problems here, is that the child is not thinking of just one way to solve the problem, but may be thinking of  various ways to do it! It is a filtering problem, sorting through the ideas to decide on just one. They find it hard to choose ONE as they can find credibility in ALL the solutions they are trying to sort through their overactive minds! Make no doubt about it… it is a gift and should be fostered. Instead of saying “pay attention” ask what are they thinking about. You just may get a surprise!

Young ADDers tend to get picked on, not only by students but by teachers as well. If teachers are more aware of the differences that these children display, show more patience instead of “losing it” in the classroom, maybe a few more children will reach their full potential & there will be fewer children getting into risk taking behaviours. This is a focusing issue, they learn in different ways to their peers. Some excel academically, their “natural brilliance” often clouding the fact that they have weaknesses in other areas such as organisation & social skills.  Doing courses & seminars outside of school hours to extend your skills is of the utmost importance. Learn how to get through to these kids and you will have less disruption in the classroom, and less stress on yourself,.

Children with ADD/ADHD work extremely well in a “one on one” relationship. Obviously this is not possible these days due to government cutbacks, but if it is possible, these kids can blossom. Paring off a willing student, who is doing well in the classroom, with an ADHD classmate in a class or two could help with their social problems as well as their academic ones. Having willing parents to help these kids is another very viable option.

Students with ADHD sometimes find it difficult to sit still. They are able to pay attention more easily if they are moving around. If you need to talk to these kids and have them LISTEN to you, take them for a walk around the school (after school for 15 minutes or during a break) & do not yell at them, no matter how rebellious they are. These children respond extremely well to kind words and gentleness. If you start to yell, they will have a tendency to space out. They cannot help this and will need you to gently bring them back. The stress they are feeling at having to “see the teacher” in the first place only causes them to space out even more. Take the fear away, make them laugh and you will have a keen listener & a loyal student, even if a trying one!

These children often are secluded from their peers, have low self-esteem & feel like losers. On a social level they can be on the outer. Many do not have anyone at home to really talk about how they feel, as it is possible that one of the parents is undiagnosed themselves and struggling to cope with the ADHD child. As they grow up, undiagnosed ADDers are more prone to risk taking behaviour such as unprotected sex at an early age, shoplifting, drinking alcohol excessively, taking drugs & criminal behaviour. They can have very addictive personalities & can be extremely impulsive, saying and doing inappropriate things before they have a chance to think about their actions.  Sometimes their addictive behaviour may be positive such as in sport, reading, a hobby or interest. Girls often get into craft activities and excel. Maybe they are obsessed with getting top marks in school?! But one thing is for sure, many children are getting through the school system because they are not exhibiting the media conception of Attention Deficit Hyper-activity Disorder. 

Becoming disheartened by their school performance, hyperactive students may throw themselves into social relationships to compensate. They may become the “clown” of the group to gain popularity and with girls, they may become a bit promiscuous to gain popularity. Sex also releases natural stimulants. Stimulants are the main form of treatment for ADHD, so in a way can be a form of self-medication. It makes them feel more “in charge” of themselves and also improves their self-esteem momentarily. They may also exercise excessively, another natural stimulant producer, and be more prone to eating disorders. 

ADD/ADHD is mainly an inherited disorder. They do not get rid of it, or outgrow it but they can learn to cope & live with it to their full advantage. The first step is school, where they are taught, different ways, to cope by caring teachers! Once out in the workforce, these kids must face employers that are not so forgiving or willing to help; their school safety net is gone. Their school teacher, & you, are their hope. Education is the key.

For more information, 

Judie Gade
ADDventurous Support
E-mail :addventurous@froggy.com.au
Mobile :  0410-402-404 (Australia)
Phone : 61 3 9776 5858 (Australia)
ADDVic Inc. member